Skip to main content

Soccer = Vanilla Ice

With the buzz related to the exciting finish to a championship soccer game in England last week, we get to be treated once more to accusations that Americans need to get on board and appreciate soccer, to be point of elevating it to a major sport.

This is a good time to address a few common misconceptions regarding Americans and soccer:
1.  If Americans would just give soccer a chance, they'd enjoy it more than baseball, football, or basketball.
Look, it's not like Americans haven't tried. First, we played it in both organized (league) and unorganized formats as a kid (Exhibit A: note all the youth soccer leagues throughout the nation). I played it for 3 or so seasons myself. In fact, I played it as young adult in a league for one season. I've attended games by local professional teams (I live in the 4th-most populated area in the US, and we have a couple to choose from). I've had my kids play in leagues. I have watched it on TV.

And yet, with all that, I still find it extremely uninteresting to watch, and marginally fun to play. I feel I have given it plenty of opportunities to grab my interest, but it fell short.
 
2. The atmosphere at a game in Europe or South America is infectious. Once you experience it, you'll be hooked. 
One could say the same about any sport with a good crowd that's really into it. Heck, there are probably political rallies, Amway conventions, and great sermons which also lead to an powerful experience. But this assertion completely misses the point: either the game itself is interesting, or it isn't.

3. Soccer is the most popular sport in the world.
The fact that large quantities of people like something does not mean I should, nor does it mean it's good. Vanilla Ice sold millions of CDs, but that CD still sucks.One can think of many cases where the masses showed themselves to be profoundly stupid.


4. Soccer players have to run for 90 minutes, and therefore are superior athletes to the ones in baseball or football, with their frequent stoppages in action. 
Just because one sport's athletes have more endurance doesn't make that sport any less boring. Coal mining may be more demanding than soccer, but it's not a good spectator sport. Probably.


Look, we Americans don't go around telling the rest of the world they should like football, baseball, hockey, or basketball more than they do. Hopefully, soccer fans will show us the same courtesy.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Saying goodbye to one set of twins, and hello to another

"It's been ten whole years already? Wow! Hard to believe." Many a father will say something like that while shaking his head in disbelief, when his oldest approaches the 10th birthday. It's a milestone, not just for the kid, but for the parents. It's a head-shaker because I am reminded that on that day, 10 years ago, my life changed forever. In some ways, it has passed very quickly.  In other ways, it seems like it's been every bit of ten years. There are two distinct things, though, about the ten-year anniversary of my dadhood. The first is that I became a father of not one, but two little bundles of joy that Tuesday morning. Abby was born at 8:48, followed by her brother Jacob at 8:50. The second is that their birth marked some rare joy in the midst of the darkest day in our nation's history.  As my wife was in labor, a nurse came in and told us that an airplane had crashed into a skyscraper in New York. I turned on the labor room...

Embarrassing video clip--John Cougar

I recently stumbled across some Youtube gold: a live performance by John Mellencamp when he was Johnny Cougar. He appears to be have been about 23, and he's singing "Ain't even Done With The Night", in front of a fairly unresponsive crowd with Bobby Bare (?!) in the front seat. Cougar/Mellencamp is dressed in a nerdy sweater and generally bears no resemblance to the singer as we knew him just 5 years later. He looks a lot more like Potsie from Happy Days than the guy who sang "Pink Houses". Certainly, there is no way to watch this and make a connection to the guy whose song "This is Our Country" beat us to death by overuse in pickup truck commercials. But the real entertainment value from this clip comes from the guys behind Cougar. In hot-pink tuxedos, there are 5 Pips-like backup dancers/singers who don't sing, but clap their hands real well. They essentially spend the entire song performing cheerleader dance routines not unlike those ...

The Two Christmases

As I walked through the front door of the Post Office to make my stamp purchase, I was faced with a choice. On my left was a vending machine, and to my right was the customer service desk, where I could make the purchase from actual human beings. Because there was no line at the moment, I chose the human interaction. I strolled up to the middle-aged, slightly balding postal employee, read that his name was "Rex", and I asked for two books of stamps. As it was mid-December, Rex asked me "would you like Christmas stamps, or...". Once I realized he wasn't about to complete the sentence, I looked down and saw that he was holding some very un-Christmas-like stamps bearing images of the Liberty Bell and the word "Forever." Knowing that my wife had planned to mail several Christmas cards, I told him "One of each." To my surprise, the decision-making did not stop there. Rex hit me with a follow-up: he held up two types of stamps: one had a pi...