The Differences Between People in the Real World and People in TV Land

When a guy asks a girl for a date on TV or a movie, the two of them invariably come to an agreement for him to pick her up at 8:00. When you count the time he will come in for a minute while she finishes getting ready, then their drive to the restaurant, then waiting to get a table, and then waiting for food after ordering, you're looking at maybe getting some food into your gut by 9:00 if you're lucky.

For some reason, when he says "I'll pick you up at Eight", this is acceptable to her. This brings several questions to my mind: Why? Who the heck eats supper at 9:00? Do people in TV Land eat another meal earlier in the evening to tide them over between lunch and supper? Do they call it Lupper?

I don't know about you, but if it gets to 6:00 and I haven't eaten yet, my tummy starts barking at me.

This is just one more of the many differences between people in the real world and the people in TV Land. Others that come to mind:

--People in TV Land never go to the bathroom. Their bladder control is amazing.

--People in TV land never go to church, except for weddings.

--Conversations in TV Land always start with insightful lines, followed by well-thought responses, the kind of responses I always kick myself about, because I think of them several minutes after the opportunity has passed.

--Weddings in TV Land never go on without a hitch.

--The only home PCs in TV Land are laptops.

--Houses in TV Land are never messy

--In TV Land High School, when two students are talking to each other, every other person in the room or hallway is silent.

--Nobody in TV Land has a cat. A few have dogs. Most have no pets, but if they do, it's always an unconventional one, like the monkey on Friends, or the Cockatoo on Barretta.

--When someone wants to pray, they always go to a church, which is always empty except for them, until someone who is looking for them comes and sits in the pew just behind them to talk to them. Praying at home or any other location is not allowed in TV Land.


Marrissa said…
I remember asking my mom about that bathroom issue in cartoons when I was kid. "Why doesn't He-Man ever go to the bathroom?"

Another one related to church is that whenever it comes time to sing a hymn, it is always Amazing Grace.
Joshua Rogers said…
People in TV land never go on and on, making you think "Please, shut up"; they get right to the point.

People in TV land are rarely funny to the other people in TV land; and even more rarely do people in TV land genuinely laugh really hard in response to one of their TV land friends being so dang funny.
Joshua Rogers said…
Sorry, sorry, but one more: people in TV land, do not lose their train of thought.

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